


Break Me Free

by yasminakohl



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Aftercare, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Breathplay, Flogging, M/M, Multi, Orgasm Control, Rope Bondage, S&M, Threesome - M/M/M, light begging, opps forgot to tag some stuff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-01
Updated: 2017-06-08
Packaged: 2018-04-24 06:01:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 20,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4908079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yasminakohl/pseuds/yasminakohl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony has been standing in the water so long he doesn't know it's boiling until Steve figures it out and he and Clint pull Tony free. </p><p>Or another story about Tony being a sub.</p><p> </p><p>New tags because I'm and idiot and forgot a couple.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The first shitty day

**Author's Note:**

> This is my IM HAVING A SHITTY DAY AND NEED TO TAKE IT OUT ON SOMEONE story.
> 
> Tony's strong, he can take it.

He couldn't sleep  
He tried repeatedly  
He drank more  
He took pills  
He wore himself until there was nothing left of the candle;  
Let alone two ends  
He still felt it  
The itch just under his skin  
The pressure in his chest  
The shallow breaths he took so he wouldn't have  
The breath to snap at his friends  
So he couldn't scream in the agony he felt  
Every cell in his body felt as if it was covered in  
Poison Ivy, Poison Oak, Poison Sumac  
His mind was pulled in enough different directions  
That even he couldn't keep a count  
To many thing to do  
Not enough time to do them in  
It hurt to feel like this  
Food wouldn't settle no matter the taste  
A drink settled his stomach as much as it didn't  
The pills did nothing but drag him further down but never under  
He needed a break he just didn't know how to get it  
Or what to break  
Did he break  
A screen  
A suite  
A suit  
A hand

 

Steve watched Tony through the glass walls. Tony never settled long enough to start anything let alone finish it. He watched as files were brought up, tinkered with and thrown away in to the virtual trash but not with the ease that was Tony. No, this was disjointed and jerky. The files never made it into the "can", but Jarvis deleted it anyways.

Steve watched and waited for Tony to settle into something productive but he never did, fifty files in an hour. "Jarvis how long has he been like this?"

"Most of the week, Sir."

Steve noted the lack of an exact time frame. "He has you flustered to, huh?"

"Yes, Captain. There have been multiple times I have seen him like this, each time did not bode well for Sir."

"What did he do to stop it?" Steve asked.

"He didn't as of late." There was a pause and Steve wondered if Jarvis was trying to break protocol to tell him something, "The last time was the night before the infamous house party, where Colonel Rhodes took possession of the Iron Patriot armor."

Steve shook his head. That had been in Tony's file and Jim had told him about that night, ashamed that he hadn't realized his best friend was dying.

"The other times?"

"Drunken benders and sex tapes."

"Let's see if we can avoid those." Steve said sighing.

"Thank you Captain."

"Is he feeling alright? He fighting the flu or anything?" Steve asked trying to figure out what could be causing the manic man to become frantic. Tony was always full of energy but it was always directed towards something.

"I have not detected any medical conditions. He has not come in contact with anything unusual on any missions or during recent battles. I have noted that his adrenaline and cortisol levels have increased by 8% since his behavior began to change. This is just below his usual levels during a small battle."

Steve raised his eyebrows in surprise. "That can't be good for his body."

"No it is not sir. With the reactor it is even worse."

"Any idea how I can get him to calm down?"

"I have tried several variations of music, lighting, and verbal reassurances. The last had a small effect but it was only resulted in one half of a percent drop."

Something clicked for Steve. "Um Jarvis, does Tony, uh," Steve sighed, "does Tony play?"

"Play, Captain?"

"I hate Clint." Steve mumbled, of course the archer was the one that had dragged Steve to a bondage club, claiming Steve needed to see all the sides of America. "Does Tony participate in S&M scenes?"

"Not for several years."

"Not since Afghanistan?"

"Correct Captain."

"And how long after his capture did the first incident like this happen?"

There was a pause, Steve was pretty sure that if Jarvis was apt to swear and react as a human he would have just dropped the F-bomb. "Six months."

"How often did he use to play?"

"Two to three times a year."

After the club, Steve had done some reading, so that he better understood what he'd seen. Had even made a profile on what they called the "Black Site", so that he could read comments from all sides of the coin. His face had been red for days after that. "I'm going to bet before he started to act frantic and a bit erratic and then was fine after a scene?"

There was another pause, probably Jarvis going back through years of archived information on Tony's behavioral patterns, "Yes, Captain." That was as close to a sigh as Steve had ever heard from the AI.

"Did he ever see the same person more than once?" Steve hoped maybe there was someone Tony trusted they could call. He was pretty sure letting the person know that The Avengers were near by would keep Tony and his secret safe.

"No, Sir. The individuals involved each time were different and the events were not traditionally carried out at Sir's home. I am unable to ascertain what Sir's role was in each incident."

"I'm not sure incident is the right word Jarvis."

"Perhaps not, Captain. Occasion?"

"Any idea which way this is suppose to go?" Steve asked with a tiny shred of hope, that maybe, somewhere Tony had done a internet search or said something as to what he might be needing right now.

"No, Sir. Sir has never shown me by words or deeds wether he would prefer-"

Steve's interrupted Jarvis. "What are the chances he's going to bite my head off if I just ask him?"

"I would say high, Captain."

"If any of the others ask?"

"Astronomical." Came the dry British tone.

"Great. Uh cover me, I'm going in?"

"Certainly, sir. May I ask how you plan on helping?"

Steve shrugged, he had no idea what he could do to help Tony right now, "I'll figure out a plan after I have some intel."

"Of course." Jarvis popped the door open silently. Steve notice that the music was one of the softer song of the bands that Tony normally listened to, not that the song was actually soft. He notice several coffee cups littering the benches and work stations he touched one and found it was warm, he touched a few more and noticed they were all fairly fresh. The further into the worship the colder they got. It was as if he would make a cup, take a few drinks, set it down and then make a new cup.

"Tony?" Steve called out lightly.

There was no sign of acknowledgement. "Tony?" Steve tried a little louder, a little closer. Still nothing. He sighed and walked all the way in. Gently, he laid a hand on Tony's arm, "Tony."

Tony jerked at the touch and the sound of his name so close, "Oh hey Cap."

"Are you feeling alright?"

"Sure why wouldn't I? Did someone say something? Jarvis are-"

"Tony stop." Steve said letting his command tone filter in.

Tony stopped and blinked at Steve.

Steve's stomach sank. That was a big enough clue which side Tony usually played for, as the baseball metaphor went. "I came down to see if you wanted some lunch." Steve explained, he left out that part about that being an hour ago.

"No. I'm fine. Got coffee."

"Tony, there are sixteen cups of coffee sitting around." Steve gestures to the open space. "Seventeen." He nodded to the one Tony's body had been blocking.

"Oh. Uh okay, sure, food." Tony said. His tone conveying his nerves more than Steve thought he wanted it to.

"What sounds good?" Steve asked, draping his arm over Tony's shoulders guiding him out of the concrete room.

"Surprise me?"

Steve's stomach sank further. He tried to give Tony the lead but the smaller man wouldn't take it. "How about you go take a shower and we'll go to that diner you like."

Tony wandered off, muttering, "If that's what sounds good."

Steve dropped on to the couch in the common area to wait for Tony to change. "Jarvis, keep him on task if he starts to get distracted, please."

"I will try sir, I have had little success today."

"Call me if you need help."

"Tony being Tony again?" Clint asked hopping the back of the couch to sit next to Steve.

Steve closed his eyes, and debated on telling him. "That club you took me to?"

"Interesting lack of segue." Clint commented.

Steve ignored it, "If someone had been using that kind of a situation to release stress that built up in their lives, then something traumatic happened and they didn't feel comfortable using that as a release anymore, what are the chances that the need would go away completely?"

Clint decided to play along with the 'theoretical game'. "Well in this theory you have going, cause it's just a theoretical scenario, right? It's not a real person." Clint paused, but Steve didn't move, "well in theory, did the person replace the stress release with something else?"

"Let's say theoretically, no they did not."

"Then I doubt it. The stress would get to be to much and they would try to cope, but that was their coping mechanism, so the stress would just keep building until something snapped and the stress was released some other way."

"Drunken sex tapes." Steve muttered.

"So how much of a mess is Stark right now?" Clint asked.

"Doubt he'd be alright to fight." Steve answered. "I went to see if he wanted lunch an hour ago. He is never still, but this was bad even for him."

"Captain. I require your assistance."

Steve vaulted over the couch and was up the stairs before Jarvis finished his sentence.

"Sir is in the shower but has not moved since stepping into it and will not respond to me."

Steve pushed into the penthouse and heard Clint's footsteps behind him. He wasn't sure if he should tell him to stand down or not. Though, it wasn't like he'd know what to do for Tony. He did motion for him to wait until he had a chance to see what was going on with Tony.

Tony was sitting on the built-in bench, the water scalding hot, if the steam was anything to go by, staring into nothing, shivering.

"Tony, hey?"

Tony's eyes tracked slowly to Steve, but he didn't speak.

"Do you need-" Steve broke off, he had no clue what to offer; help, a hand, an axiality pill.

Clint was at the door, "Do we know if he was a Dom or a sub?" He added just loud enough Steve could hear him over the water but Tony couldn't.

Steve shook his head but the shrugged.

"You're guessing sub because he hadn't become aggressive."

Steve nodded once.

"Let me try something. Don't flip out." Clint said walking in, ditching most of his clothes as he did. He left his shirt and boxer briefs on. Clint's bearing changed, it went from lose and graceful to straight and forceful. "Stark. You've got thirty seconds to get out of here and dry off." The tone he used left no room for argument.

Tony shivered but stood up, he faltered and Clint caught him, Steve was on the other side as soon as there was room.

Tony reached a shaking hand out and pulled a towel free. Clint shook his head. "Stand still. Do not fall over." He took the towel from Tony's shaking fingers and dried the man off quickly. "Go lay down on the bed."

Tony nodded once, the vacant look on his face was erie. He used the wall to brace himself but he trekked on to his massive bed.

Clint dried off just as quickly. "Jarvis, he ever have marks when he played before?"

"Not that I am aware Agent Barton. I was not present when the events happened, nor was he in my presence for days at a time after. They may have had time to heal."

"Great, so we now know he's a sub, but don't know what kinks he might have. And I doubt he's coherent enough to consent to anything." Clint grumbled.

"What do we do?" Steve asked, handing Clint his jeans.

"We see if he can talk. Maybe it's just a matter of contact, praise, a few other things that consent isn't necessarily needed." Clint pulled on his shirt, "Don't get me wrong, it's better to have it but things that aren't sex or pain, it can kind of be worked around."

The pair found Tony curled up on the bed, eyes closed, still shivering.

"Jarvis up the temp by five." Clint said, sitting on the edge of the bed, he waved Steve to the other side. Once both men were sitting Clint asked, "Tony, you with us, buddy?"

"Cold."

"Got Jarvis working on getting in warmer. Do you want the blankets?"

Tony gasped.

"That a good sound or not? Got to work with us."

"No, to much." Tony stuttered out.

"Got it. What do you need?"

Tony tried to shake his head no but Clint snapped out, "Answer," in a tone that rivaled Steve in battle.

"Can't...not after..."

"What use to work, we'll adapt." Clint's voice still steel.

"Floggers, blindfolds, breath play."

"Fuck." Clint sighed. "Do you trust us?"

"Who us?" Tony's voice faded with ever question Clint asked.

"Steve and I. Are you here enough to know what's going on?"

Tony nodded once.

"Are you here enough to safe word?" Clint asked.

Tony nodded once again. "Edwin."

Clint's worry settled a little at Tony being able to tell them his word without needing to be prompted. He looked over at Steve, "Can you do this?"

Steve nodded once as well.

"If it gets to much, you start to freak out or anything, you need to tell me. I can't take care of two people when he's such a mess."

"The safe word thing?"

"You can use one." Clint confirmed. "You can just use the stop light system to."

Steve nodded, "Star."

Clint nodded, he added his own to the pile to help with the growing trust in the room, "Yumi."

Steve didn't comment on the unknown word, but Tony did, his voice all but a whisper, "A bow."

"It is. I have one. I'll show you later." Clint took a deep breath and asked one last question, his tone going back to command strong, "Tony you have to answer this. Do you fuck when you're under?"

Tony started to nod but knew Clint needed to hear the answer. "Yes," he forced out as loud as he could.

"Do you want me?" Clint asked to verify. He looked at Steve in case the answer was no. Steve's eyes went huge and his face went red but otherwise he didn't flinch.

"Both." Tony gasped again. "To long."

Clint cursed. "Why did you do this?" Sighing Clint let the frustration go, instead saying. "Last question, do you have any floggers?"

Tony shook his head no.

Clint got up and went into Tony's closet. He found a medium width belt without a metal tip and returned. "You do not seem like are in a place to be blindfolded."

Tony didn't respond.

"Steve, take your shirt off and sit towards the edge of the bed. I want you to hold Tony to your chest, hold his face to your neck. Wrap your arms under his." Clint instructed.

Steve followed the orders, he pulled Tony into his lap draping him over his chest like a doll, both hands under his arms, one bracing his face into Steve's neck.

"Count." That was all the warning either of them got before Clint let the belt fly.

Tony sucked in air and with a high voice, "One, sir."

Clint let his face flinch at the sir, only Steve saw it.

Clint let's two fly back to back. "Two, s- three, sir."

Clint let's time draw on for a few seconds as Tony's breathing settles back. Clint mouths 'check his pulse' to Steve.

Now Steve understands the odd position. His fingers were near Tony's carotid artery. He doesn't flinch as "Four, sir," is cried out, but he tips he head to Clint. When Clint's eyes are on him again he mouths 112.

Clint makes a frowny face. They don't know what is a safe range for Tony with the reactor. A blue light flickers near Clint and biometric information is displayed with handy red danger lines. Tony is safe for a few more. At ten strokes the lines have edged into the yellow section of the information and Steve can feel the wetness of the tears streaming down Tony's cheeks. He tips his head again knowing to movement will catch Clint's attention. Clint nods again. "Enough?"

Tony chokes out, "Dozen."

Clint sighs but lands two more strikes.

Steve can feel the heat radiating from Tony's body. He looks at the floating screen but everything is still in the acceptable range.

"Steve keep him where he is, but lay back on the bed." Clint demands, dropping the belt on a nearby dresser. Steve starts to lean back but stops when Tony hisses.

He waits out the shudder and gently moves to the middle of the bed. He has no idea what Clint is thinking next.

Clint opens the bedside table and pulls out a bottle of lube but pokes around more. "Condoms?"

Tony can only shake his head no.

"You didn't plan for this." Clint translated.

Steve give Clint a confused look. Tony and Pepper broke up months ago. What did that mean.

Clint saw the look and shrugged. He doubted that Tony was sick, he knew Steve would be clean and he knew he was, but he'd never been with a guy without one before.

Clint knelt on the bed and rubbed a hand up Tony's leg and over his ass. He'd landed one strip low intentionally so he could rub over it. Tony hissed as his hand caresses the red streak. "Are you at a place to consent?"

Tony nodded but didn't lift his head.

"Do you know what I'm going to ask you?" Clint asked.

"I'm okay with bareback." Was Tony's answer.

Clint shivered. This was going to be a new one. He owed Laura a couple dozen roses. Well a dozen at least, Tony the other dozen. Course that would mean he'd have to tell Tony about her.

"I'm going to work you open."

Tony nodded once, shifting his legs open and letting them fall on either side of Steve's hips.

Clint disappeared into the bathroom when he returned he had a tube of aloe gel in his hands. He picked up Steve's hand not holding Tony's head and dropped a large dollop and nodded towards Tony's back.

Steve was careful but through, Tony whimpered and pressed into Steve's hip. Then he jerked, Steve stopped thinking he'd hurt Tony somehow, but the knee next to him made him realize Clint had started touching him.

Clint looked at Steve with the question still there, are you still okay?

Steve nodded after he swallowed. This was defiantly out of his comfort zone but Tony needed the help.

"You're such a good boy Tony. So strong." Clint spoke softly.

Tony's breath hitched as he drug in a breath, he tried to shake his head no but Steve stopped the movement. He'd read about this part, he was sure this he could do. "Yes you are. So strong, you've fought for so long alone. So brave. You took ten of Clint's best then asked for two more. You are brave. You are strong. You are a good man."

Tony sobbed.

"It's okay let it out. It only makes you stronger." Steve said caressing Tony's hair, and still rubbing his gel coated hand over Tony's back.

"You've done everything we've asked, never once balked." Clint reminded him. "You're letting us help you. That makes you a good boy." Clint shifted up and fully knelt between Steve's legs behind Tony.

"You're going to be a good boy and tell me if you want to stay were you are, right?"

A sobbing ye- was the best Tony could manage.

"Steve's going to hold you down. He's not going to let you go."

Tony nodded in understanding.

Clint reached up and pulled Tony down Steve's body so that Tony's head was on Steve's chest. "Do you want to come now or later?"

Tony just shook his head no.

"No I don't do the whole denial thing. It ain't healthy."

"Later." Tony croaked out.

Clint saw Tony tense at the denied request, so he added, "Acceptable. Five more lashes if you come before I tell you to."

Steve felt Tony sink further into his hold. This was about to get very weird, he was going to be the bed for a man getting screwed. He almost called out Star but the one time he'd loosened his hold on Tony, Tony had started to shake again.

Clint held Tony's hips still as he pressed into him. "Such a good boy. Going to be even better and not hurt yourself anymore aren't you?"

Tony moaned.

"Tony?" Clint's voice demanded the answer.

Tony thrashed his head.

"You will not do this again. You're a good boy. Good boys ask for help."

"You are a good boy, Tony. I know you want to be." Steve whispered. He wished Tony was still next to him so he could kiss his cheek. Instead he smoothed Tony's hair.

"You want to stay a good boy, don't you Tony?" Clint asked stopping, until Tony answered, finally.

"Yes. Yes I want to be good."

Clint smiled and fucked into Tony, hard.

"You are good, so good Tony. You help all of us. Give us everything we need. Let us help you when you need it," Steve continued petting Tony. Telling him over and over all of the wonderful things he did for them; the armor, the tower, the new tech, new weapons, his laughter, his friendship, his compassion.

Steve felt Clint's rhythm falter and held Tony still as the marksman thrust hard, shifting Tony, chasing his release.

Tony hadn't stopped moaning once. The moan became a whimper when he figured out Clint was about to come. At the last second Clint pulled free and thrust along Tony's cheeks, coming on his back.

Tony keened and tried to writhe at the loss of Clint's cock.  
"Stop." Clint demanded, even though he was short of breath.

"Shhhshh. It's alright, we've got you, we promised we would take care of you." Steve tried to placate the distraught man. "It will be better soon. We promised."

Tony's breath heaved as his mind raced with a thousand reasons for Clint pulling out, not one of them were the true reason.

Clint shivered but moved up the bed, so that he was face to face with Tony, he made sure to angle his lower half away from Steve's leg. "You did so good, Tony. You were so wonderful. But Steve's never done this before. He's not going to be okay with messy seconds. I should have told you."

Steve felt his face flame. God, no he wasn't okay with that. But this wasn't about him, it was about Tony.

"You need him, and he needs to be okay with everything we do, just like you." Clint traced a pattern only he knew in Tony's red marked back. Tony nodded and whimpered but raised up into the touch.

"I'm going to get a hot washcloth and wipe you down. You're going to lay here and let Steve hold you. When I come back, your going to kneel up so that Steve can lose his pants. Do you understand?"

Tony speech was slurred at bit from the pain high, "Yes, sir."

"Keep touching his back." Clint said in a whisper into Steve's ear. "He's falling and it's what he needs."

Steve loathed to do it but he carefully set both hands on Tony's back and shifted them around. Tony arched into his hands, gasping. Steve lifted his hands up to adjust and keep the pressure the same. "Stop. I'll give you what you need. Stop trying to take." He let his voice go a little hard like Clint's had been.

Tony whimpered but let his body relax back onto Steve's. "That's a good boy. So pretty, so patient, waiting for us."

Tony nodded his head. Steve set his hands back down on Tony's hot skin, he pressed a little harder but still kept it soft. He let one finger tip drag over a welt more than the other and felt Tony shiver from the contact. "Do you need more?"

Tony shook his head no.

"Don't lie to me. You have to tell us what you need."

"Not, sir. Good."

"Good boy."

Clint was back with a steaming rag and he set it in Tony's ass and heard the hiss as the heat soaked into the lowest welt. He wiped down Tony's ass, cleaning up his come. Once down he slapped Tony hard on the opposite cheek from the welt. "Lift up."

Tony drew up on his hands and knees shakily. Steve started to reach for his button and zipper but felt Clint's hands already there. Steve laid back and looked at the ceiling and hoped his face wasn't trying to impersonate Schmidt's. He felt Clint's fingers curl into his waistband and he lifted up enough for the other man to pull his khakis down over his hips.

"Never bothered to ask you if you were literally up to this." Clint quipped.

"Think of Peggy and America." Tony lisped.

Steve pulled Tony back up his body and adjusted him over enough that he could look at him without being cross eyed, "I'd rather think of you, I'd rather think of how good you're going to feel wrapped around me. I'd rather wonder if I can pull the same pretty sounds from you that Clint just did. I'd rather think of you and give you what you need when you work yourself into a haze, even though you've got an entire team full of people who love and care for you."

Steve did what he'd wanted to do from the start, he kissed Tony. Tony stayed quiet but his hips started shifting over Steve's hips. Steve put a hand on Tony's ass and held him still. With his other hand he waved at Clint, he had no idea how the heck to do this. He felt a hand wrap around him and the press of flesh on his head. He kissed Tony a little harder as Tony's body pulled him in. He rolled his hips and lifted them up until all of him was surrounded by Tony.

Tony panted, Steve was a hell of a lot bigger than Clint, the stretch was just the right side of painful, the arms crossed over his back helped him fall even further. But the kiss was so sweet and soft it worked as a counterpoint to everything else.

Being inside Tony felt amazing. He'd never felt anything so wonderful as the hot heat engulfing him at the moment. He heard Tony try and say something, he kissed one last kiss and let Tony have his lips back to ask for what he needed. The word he got was "Harder". Steve put his feet flat on the bed and lifted up his hips, and gave Tony harder. He doubted many people could last long like this, but super solider...

Tony howled as Steve drove into him grazing his prostrate with each piston of his cock. He couldn't last like this but he didn't think he could take five more from Clint. His body still was not his own. He felt fingers edge around his jaw. His mind lazily worked out that they were Clint's as Steve's were still around his back. The fingers curled just over his Adam's apple and pressed. Tony lurched, as his breathing swallowed.

"You come on his cock or you don't come. If you don't come it'll be ten more." Clint hissed in his ear.

Tony cried out, he had to come but he couldn't yet, he was strung out worse than he had ever been before. He was going to shatter. Then he heard it, "Come for me." Three little words in Steve's soft voice, not a command, a request and Tony couldn't keep from fulfill it.

As he came, cock untouched save from where it rested in the valley of Steve's hip, Clint pressed harder and Tony's cry was interrupted but it didn't matter Tony passed out the second he felt Steve stiffen and come inside him. He missed Steve's moan that sounded exactly like his name.

Steve collapsed onto the bed trying to drag much need air into his lungs, he knew if he let go of Tony and shifter him over it would be better, instead he stayed exactly where he was and heaved.

"Fuck, Steve. You're so damn good he passed out." Clint whispered.

"Good, maybe now he'll sleep." Steve managed to say. He batted at Clint to move, then rolled them over on to their side. "You're not leaving, so get comfortable," Steve demanded.

Clint laughed, "Damn you're a bossy top." He worked the blankets out from under the pair and curled up around Tony's back. "No I won't leave until he's awake and I see what he needs for after care."

Steve nodded and wordlessly hmph'ed his approval, then let the lassitude pull him into sleep.

Clint watched Steve and Tony sleep. He had never asked Cap if he'd had sex before. He hoped like hell Steve had just lost his virginity in a sex scene.

He moved away from the pair, picking up his pants and pulling out his phone. He dialed the number from memory as he closed the door to the bedroom.

"Hey, so I owe you roses." There was a laugh on the other end of the line, Clint's heart was instantly lighter.

"You know that's only a you thing right?"

"Helps my guilt."

"There's nothing to feel guilty about. You did what was needed of you."

"So if I didn't send them I wouldn't be sleeping on the couch the next time I'm home?"

"I suppose I didn't say that."

Clint heard the smile in his wife's voice. "That's what I thought. I'll make sure Tony send you a dozen to."

"Oh Clint, what happened?"

"He strung himself out to far. Use to play, but after the cave he couldn't."

"He okay now?"

"We'll see soon. He's under for the moment. Cap's got him."

"He going to be alright?" Laura asked.

Clint knew she meant Steve, "Don't know, I'll find out when Tony comes up. He was such a mess, I don't know if I could have gotten him under without Cap."

"Oh baby. Come home soon okay?"

"Yeah I'll see if I can make it next week." Clint whispered, lump building in his throat. "I should go. He can't wake up alone."

"No they can't." She whispered. "I love you, go take care your team."

"Thanks baby."

Clint hung up and sat for just a moment on the counter, letting himself remember the feeling of his wife's arms around him. He sign and pushed the feeling away. Back in the bedroom neither man had moved. Clint wondered to the kitchen and grabbed a couple bottles of water and juice and some small foods, crackers, cheeses, lunch meats and a jar of honey. He'd seen subs need all sorts of things when they came up.

It was two hours before Steve woke up, Clint watched to make sure he wasn't going to have any issues. He seemed alright, though his hands shook a little. Clint waited till he sat up before flicking him a bottle of water. Once Steve had decimated that bottle Clint flicked over a bottle of juice and slid one of the plates of food over.

"Thank you." Steve murmured.

"You alright?" Clint asked keeping his voice low.

Steve shrugged. "Tired."

"Hm. Got to ask you a few things."

Steve nodded, picking at the food.

"Please tell me this was not the first time you'd had sex."

"That was not a question. No it wasn't. But close enough to it." Steve mumbled.

"How many times?"

Steve flinched, "Twice."

Clint sighed, mostly a virgin. "Either of them guys?" Steve shook his head no. "So yes, virgin. No more unicorns for you."

Steve rolled his eyes, "Haven't seen one since 1943."

Clint snorted. "USO girl?" Steve smiled but didn't answer. "Other than tired, how do you feel?"

"Alright, going to need to eat more than this though."

"No regrets?"

Steve shook his head, forced his eyes up from the plate to Clint's, "No. Tony needed us."

"I'm trying to make sure this isn't going to bite you in the ass later and mess with your head. I don't want you alone for the next day or so. The brain can be a bitch and slap you without notice after something like this."

Steve kept his voice just this side of command, "I'll be fine."

Clint shook his head, "No arguments, you maybe Captain America, team leader, but in this I'm Top Dog. Buck me on this and I'll get Nat to drug you long enough for Thor to drop Mjölnir on your chest. Dom drop is real and having never done anything like this before makes you susceptible, serum or not."

Steve took a deep breath then sighed, "Are we telling the others?"

"He'll decide when he wakes up. It would be better if everyone knew so that we all can watch out for him. I doubt Banner will be able to help, not sure if he could keep the Hulk down to hold him, but he can watch for signs."

Steve nodded in understanding.

"Besides if both of us are off on a mission and he needs help..." Clint added.

"Right."

"You okay with them knowing you helped?"

"What? Why would you ask?" Steve stopped. "I'm not ashamed of this."

Clint managed to keep his face blank, but he wanted to laugh at Steve's bumbling, "Doesn't make you comfortable with it though."

"I'm just not very good about talking about..." Steve waved a hand.

"Sex."

Steve flushed everywhere Clint could see, which was from his belly button, up. "Yeah."

"We get it. It wasn't done in your time."

"Oh no," Steve let out a small chuckle, "I was in the middle of a war with some of the raunchiest men put on the planet. It was done, I just never had anything to add, so never got any good at it."

Clint snickered. "Right. Now you've got a story to tell." He was 90% sure Steve wasn't going to have a problem but he wasn't going to take any chances. "I'll go make some pasta, the carbs should hold you for a while. Yell if he wakes up." Clint said running a hand over Tony's calf, noting that the leg was as warm as it should be.

Clint grabbed up his pants and wandered back into the kitchen. It took him a few minutes but he eventually found a giant pot and filled it with water. While it heated up he found a few different types of pasta. He dumped in random measurements of each for verity, then grabbed out the butter. He poked around the fridge to see if there was any meats he could through in, but Tony had shit for food in the penthouse. He was surprised at what he'd found for the plates.

Clint was stirring in the butter and adding a bit of salt when he heard Jarvis announce that Tony was starting to wake up. He grabbed the pot and three forks and a couple dish towels to keep the pan from scorching the sheets while they ate.

He set everything down on the nightstand and climbed up onto the bed. He slowly reached out and touched Tony's shoulder. "You with us?"

Tony's eyes blinked open but flinched back shut. "Bright," he whispered.

Jarvis immediately shifted the windows to black out and dimmed the lights. "Hey try now." Clint said.

Tony opened one eye slowly then the other. He shifted a bit on the bed trying to sit up.

"No stay there for a second and make sure the world isn't going to spin." Clint said pressing gently on Tony shoulder.

"'M fine." Tony muttered, pushing up again. Clint let him, but both Steve and Clint lifted him up so he didn't pull anything on his back.  
"Do you want some water?" Clint asked.

Tony shook his head. "Juice." His voice was rough, his hands shook but only for a few seconds.

Clint opened the bottle and handed it to Tony, who drank with slow small swallows.

"Food?"

Tony nodded once. "Cheese." The juice had soothed some of his raw throat but it was still harsh.

Clint moved the plate in front of where Tony sat kneeling on the bed. Tony picked up a square and slowly ate it. After two squares he looked at Clint. A scratchy voice asked, "Did I break him?"

"He's not broken," Steve answered, "I'm fine. As just waiting to see if you are."

"Will be." Tony sighed. "I don't say this often; I'm sorry."

"Nothing to be sorry for. Just don't push it again. You need help you damn well better ask." Clint said, he let the Dom hedge out a bit.

Tony shook his head. "It's hard." He ate a few more pieces of cheese, "Don't always see that I'm there. Even before Afgh- even before."

Clint could understand that, can't tell if the waters boiling up if it started out cold, "What do you need now?"

Tony shrugged and barely suppressed the wince. "Quiet. Not be around a lot of people. Food, small food." Tony gestured to the plate. "Sort of not coordinated for a bit."

Clint nodded. "You warm enough?"

Tony tipped his head, "Been warmer."

Steve sighed, this was going to be like pulling hen's teeth. He pulled the top sheet free and wrapped it around Tony, then pulled him over into his lap. "What else do you need?"

"Nothen'" Tony said sullenly.

"We promised to help, you're making us break that." Steve kept his voice soft but let some of his frustration bleed through.

Tony swallowed down the dread, this was the thing that got ignored most often for him. He'd learned how to come up with out it, but he was always better if he didn't have to. "To be held." He muttered as he shoved another piece of cheese in his mouth. He jerked as Steve's arms careful pulled him back against his chest and didn't let go.

"You need to eat." Clint nodded towards the pasta.

Steve shook his head, Tony had started to melt into his arms. "I'll eat it later."

Tony jolted up and tried to move away, "It's fine, you need to eat."

Steve held fast, "I will, after a while." Tony tried again to pull away and shook his head, "Tony, stop it. Just relax." He glared at Clint, wishing the archer hadn't said anything.

"Compromise, Tony sit next to Cap, I'll sit on your other side. He gets a free hand to eat and we keep touching you, and you get double the body warmth, well triple because, Cap."

"Perfect." Steve answered and was already moving Tony next to him.

"Not an invalid." Tony grumbled.

"Didn't say you were but you have things you need and Cap needs to eat." Clint grabbed the towels and set them in Tony's lap, the handed him the pan. "Extra heat," he explained, hoping Tony would take a few bites himself.

Steve braced his arm against the headboard making sure Tony's neck rested against his arm and his back wasn't anywhere near it.

"Steve it's fine." Tony whispered. "It'll only sting for a few seconds."

Steve started to shake his head no, but Clint spoke up, "The coolness will pull some of the heat out." Steve sighed and moved his arm so Tony could lean back against the red metal.

Tony bit his tongue so he wouldn't make a sound as he leaned back. His left side was bracketed by Steve's tall torso and long legs. His right shoulder was just below Clint's shoulder and Clint's foot rested against his ankle bone. "Never noticed your legs are shorter than mine." Tony rambled.

"Looks that way huh?" Clint smiled. Tony had his head back eyes closed, the lines around his eyes had softened, his jaw more relaxed than Clint had ever seen it.

Steve ate quickly, Tony had started to shiver. He doubted that was a good thing. He was happy though, he managed to coax Tony into eating a few bites of the pasta. Clint had gotten a few bites of lunch meat and a couple crackers, had even gotten him to take a few with the honey on them, a little sugar to counteract the crash.

It was still about fifteen minutes before Steve was pulling Tony back into his lap and wrapping his arms around him. He smiled when he felt Tony go limp in his arms, not a single muscle working.

Clint moved over and caressed Tony's face and shoulders, Steve rubbed his cheek over Tony's hair. Then he heard Clint humming a song, it took him a moment to place it. When he did, his heart clinched, his mother use to sing it to him when he was sick. Softly he picked up the words,

"Over the mountain, over the sea,  
back where my heart is longing to be  
Oh, let the light that shines on me  
shine on the one I love.

I hear the lark, the lark hears me  
singing from the leaves of the old oak tree  
Oh, let the lark that sings to me  
sing to the one I love,

Over the mountains, over the sea  
back where my heart is longing to be  
Oh, let the lark that sings to me  
sing to the one I love."

"If you two don't stop singing I'm going to go back to sleep." Tony mumbled.

"So sleep. You can always use more." Steve replied.

Tony shook his head and pushed away, "Need to pee."

Steve helped Tony to his feet and watched as the engineer gingerly walked to the bathroom.

Clint sighed, "Almost had him. Laura swore by that one for Lila."

Steve went very still. Clint never mentioned anyone who wasn't Natasha or Phil without a follow up to how they were tied to Natasha or Phil. Nor did he ever talk about lullabies.

"Cooper was a Cat's in the Cradle boy. No lullabies for him. But with a spy for a dad I guess he's allowed to be different."

"Clint, what are you saying?"

"I have two children and have had a wife for more years than I've had SHIELD." Clint answered. "Found out a month ago that it'll be three kids soon."

Steve blinked, trying to understand what Clint had just given him, "Congratulations."

"Thanks, though I've always found congratulations for being pregnant a little weird. 'Hey, you fucked at the right time to make life'," Clint shrugged, "Laura knows what I do, and that sometimes that one line in our vows gets bent a little. I've never broken it, I've never loved anyone but her, so I have forsaken all others, but..." Clint trailed off.

"You don't get see her often."

"I've never had a job that that worked well with. Moved around to much to begin with, then it was to dangerous, this way I know their safe and I'm keeping them that way. You are the forth person I've ever told. Fury, Coulson and Tasha know. I figured the world would be ending, like giant chunks of the world being ripped out ending, before I told you guys. Not that I don't trust you, but because of what we do. The fewer people who know they exist the safer they are."

"So why are you?"

"Because Laura pointed something out to me."

Steve waited out the archer, wondering if one of them should check on Tony.

"She reminded me that I love you guys. Keeping them from you would be wrong. Besides the fact that everyone on the team has been tortured at some point and has never given up anything, so you are all strong enough to protect my family."

"We always will be."

"I know. And if anything ever happens, I want one of you to tell her. It was always suppose to be Phil."

"And since?"

"Fury." Clint shrugged, "but with SHIELD..."

"Right." Steve heard the water running in the bathroom, finally.

"He's fine. He'd be better if we could get him to sleep a while longer, but maybe just vegging out in front of a movie will be enough."

Tony reappeared, stopping at his dresser and pulling out a pair of soft sweats, and a thin t-shirt. He pulled on the sweats and walked to the bed, he handed the shirt to Clint, then sat down.

Clint helped Tony with the shirt, grateful that he hadn't tried to aggravate his back. He nodded at Steve and pulled the shirt down over Tony's lower red streaked back. "Easier than trying to put a shirt on Lila."

"Tasha know about your girlfriend?"

"Hope Tash knows about her, she helped deliver her." Clint snorted. "Lila's my daughter."

"You procreated, Legolas? Kid come out with a quiver attached? Big red head of fuzzy hair like Merida, or a long black braid like Katnis?"

"Actually she's blond, and has never touched more than a butter knife. Prefer to keep it that way. Cooper has used an air rifle."

"Oh god there's two of you."

"Three soon, and you owe Laura a dozen roses. Standard payment for sleeping with someone."

Tony nodded, his heart beating in his ears. "Color preference?"

"Nope."

"Do we get to meet them?" Steve asked.

"Might go next week. Cooper will be on break."

"Guess I'll hand deliver them then." Tony said pushing the sweats down lower in his right hip.

"You got any arnica cream?" Clint asked, closing the subject.

Tony nodded, "Counter next to the shaving cream."

"The lives we lead that we keep cream for bruises next to the shaving cream." Clint chuckled.

"I use the arnica cream more than I use the shaving cream." Tony offered.

When Clint was in the bathroom, Steve asked Tony, "Are you alright?"

"For now."

Steve hoped he wasn't doing this out of turn, "Clint would like the others to know."

Tony shrugged, "Fine. They all know my sex life is open to the public. Literally."

"'Fraid you'd need help and we'd be gone. Lift up his shirt." Clint said stepping back into the room. "Movie when we're done?"

"Sure. Star Wars." Tony said through a flinch at the first touch to his back.

"Do you care if it's here in your room or somewhere else?"

Tony knew Clint didn't mean they movie, "Think about it later." Tony panted as Steve pulled his shirt back down.

"Fine. Come on, let's go down stairs." Clint picked up Steve's clothes and dropped them on the bed before pulling on his shirt. "I'll tell them. See who will help with what. How long do you stay marked?"

"Day or two."

Clint flinched, Tony would need a massage before that. "Come see me when you wake up in the morning. Going to need to work out your knots."

"Sure."

The rest of the day was spent with the team, sans Thor who was with Jane at a conference, watching the original Star Wars trilogy. Clint talked to Natasha who had no problems with helping Tony. Sam said he'd do what he could but he wasn't sure he could flog someone even if they asked, Bruce said he would try but the first time had to be with someone else in case the Big Guy had an issue.

Through all the movies Tony sat wrapped in a blanket, curled into the arm of the couch, Steve curled over him sharing his excessive body heat. Clint poured juice and tea down Tony, keeping him hydrated. Tony only picked at the food around him but Clint was fine with it because he was eating something.

It was morning before the group broke up, each one making sure to take a minute with Tony giving him some small praise and reassuring touch before leaving.

"Come on, let me rub down your back before you go to sleep. Don't want it to lock up while you're sleeping." Clint said as he and Steve helped Tony up from the couch. "Think you should stay with him Steve. You two can keep an eye on each other."

Tony nodded, "You afraid this will mess with him?" Tony asked, doubt creeping into his voice.

"Not to much. But maybe."

"Him is still standing here." Steve grouched.

"We know." Tony answered. "Getting even for being talked about all day."

"Nope just all night." Clint said, pushing the bedroom door open. "Where's your oil?"

"Second drawer." Tony said rolling his shoulders, "You any good?"

"Pregnant wife, and I'm still living, yes, I'm good."

"Got it."

"I'm going to shower." Steve said slipping away.

Tony waited till the water started, "How much did this fuck him up?"

"Don't think it did. Seems okay but watch for him."

Tony groaned as Clint worked out a larger knot.

"You sure you are good at this?" Tony hissed.

Clint didn't say anything, Tony bitched because he could. If there was something wrong all of them would be the last to know it. Made obvious by yesterday's activities. "We mean it by the way. Don't push yourself. Ask for fucking help."

"If I see it I will ask. But I can't guarantee I'll see it. Before, I didn't. I would just end up some place and say sure why not, sounds fun. Half the time I was already drunk enough that they should have kicked me out, not made me the center ring."

"Fuck Tony. Have you ever had a scene were you could consent?"

"Probably, the closest was tod- uh yesterday. I did know what I was getting into. I know what I like, but after, I couldn't let those things happen, but the need for them didn't change."

"Did you try other things to see if they might work instead?" Steve asked, drying his hair.

"It wasn't so much the what," Tony's voice rose as Clint found a stubborn knot towards Tony's side, away from the lash marks. "You're sleeping on the couch, honey buns," Tony panted.

"Then what was it?" Steve tried prompting.

"The who," Tony giggled, "fucker, I am ticklish and if you tell anyone I'll kill you. Mini Bartons or not."

"Dozen roses a week for the rest of Laura's life and she never pays another bill if you do."

"God, we have fucked up lives." Tony whispered into his pillow.

"Why?" Steve asked.

"Barton just said he's only worth flowers and money."

"No that's what I said you would owe my wife for killing me for a back massage, not that that's what I'm worth."

Mumbling Tony asked, "Can I ask something?"

"I could do the whole you just did thing but I won't." Clint said a smile in his voice.

"Will you, um, will you sing the song again?" Tony spoke so quietly Steve had to walk closer to hear him.

"Yeah, we can do that." Steve said.

"There's shorts in the bottom dresser drawer if you want." Tony spoke louder this time.

Steve climbed onto the bed and under the blankets, "Read in an article, that the more skin to skin contact the better it is for everyone."

"Cap read an article on aftercare? I think I just had a psychotic break."

"I took him to a club, he wanted to understand more." Clint explained, moving away from you Tony so that he could crawl under the blankets. He could already feel the heat Steve was generating.

The pair were a little awkward about snuggling with each other for about thirty seconds, then it was like two puzzle pieces being rotated, they clicked and fit together.

Clint started to hum again, he had no singing voice, but Steve's was beautiful. "I see the moon, the moon sees me  
shining through the leaves of the old oak tree  
Oh, let the light that shines on me  
shine on the one I love.

Over the mountain, over the sea,  
back where my heart is longing to be  
Oh, let the light that shines on me  
shine on the one I love.

I hear the lark, the lark hears me  
singing from the leaves of the old oak tree  
Oh, let the lark that sings to me  
sing to the one I love,

Over the mountains, over the sea  
back where my heart is longing to be  
Oh, let the lark that sings to me  
sing to the one I love."

Tony as asleep before the third verse.

"Goodnight Cap."

"Night Barton." Steve drifted off to the sound of the door closing.


	2. Two Point Conversion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For none sports people:  
> Baseball run = 1 point  
> Football (American) Conversion aka Two point conversion = 2points  
> Football (America) Touch down = 6 points
> 
> And my sports stops there. 
> 
> Also this was not suppose to be a love story between Steve and Tony. But my inner Stony is showing so it's turning into one.

It was mid afternoon before Tony woke up, Steve had left briefly a few times to get food, a book and his sketching pad. 

"How are you feeling?" Steve asked running his hand through Tony's bed head hair.

"Groggy, but good. Little stiff." He shrugged slowly, letting the movement break a few stiff spots free. 

"Maybe a shower, loosen up a bit then I can give you another massage, use the cream again." Steve suggested.

Tony nodded, gently rolling out of bed. Half hour later Tony came out, his skin red, steam still rolling off of it.

"Are you still cold?" Steve asked, looking to see if the bed had an electric blanket.

"Little bit." Tony pulled out a pair of heavy sweat pants and a pair of thick socks. "Jarvis buddy?"

"The heating element has been activated and the bed should be warm momentarily."

Steve grumbled, "I was looking for controls."

"Just ask Jarvis, he knows all the cool toys. So you okay?" Tony asked slipping into the middle of the soon to be toasty warm bed. 

"Yeah, I'm fine. Thank you for worrying, the serum fixes most everything."

Tony caught the tone and the most, so pushed, "But not everything."

"No," Steve hadn't told anyone on the team, but felt he could, should, share this with Tony, "after I woke up, from the ice, I was depressed. Clinically, not suicidal, but not far from it. They tried to give me some medications but I burned through them too fast, like everything else. I talked to a few people."

"SHIELD shrinks." Tony interpreted. 

"Yeah. They were nice. Helpful. Let me work through, well everything. It still sneaks up on me." Steve admitted. "I'll be fine, then I'll see something and turn to tell Bucky, or Peggy and they're not there. I'll remember a joke that one of the Howlers told me and my heart clenches. You're not alone in needing comfort, Tony."

"I know. I just have a unique way of getting it." Tony snorted.

"I don't think this is comfort." Steve answered, tracing a lighter welt. "This is pushing the boundaries so far past needing comfort you've gone the other direction. This is letting your gift pull you to pieces."

"Probably." Tony sighed. He'd had this conversation before, well similar conversations with Rhodie, Pepper and even Obie once. "I don't know how to deal with it any other way." Tony hissed as Steve pressed on a stubborn knot Clint had started on earlier.

"Sorry." Steve flinched and lightened his touch.

"It's fine, I'll live."

"Don't let it pull you apart anymore. Please. Seeing you like that was just short of terrifying."

"I wasn't that bad." Tony mumbled.

"Tony, you asked to be hurt. Begged for it even. With what we do? Seeing someone I care about in that state, yes, terrifying." 

"You care?"

"Of course I do. Tony, you're one of my best friend. I spend more time with you than I do the rest of the team combined." 

Tony didn't know what to say to that.

"I've been with three people in my life, Tony. Each one was someone I cared about. I'm not wired to do casual."

"Aunt Peggy and ..."

"I'm also not wired to kiss and tell." Steve laughed.

"Oh come on, give me a little." Steve had moved away, so Tony rolled onto his side, a big grin on his face, "Perks of having the best friend title. Names at least." Tony needled.

Steve let out a heavy sigh, "You won't stop until I tell you, will you?"

"Nope." Tony gave Steve his best devious grin.

Steve caved, "Marianna Miller, she was one of the girls on the USO tour. She helped me deal with my stage fright, and we became very close. Her mom got real sick just before we went to Europe, she left to take care of her."

"Her mom get better?" Tony asked.

Steve shook his head, "Spanish Influenza. They both died."

"I'm sorry." Tony offered.

Steve shrugged, "It literally was a lifetime ago." He didn't mention that he goes to her grave and leaves a bouquet of Queen Anne's Lace, her favorite flower, one a year.

"Then Peggy."

"Then once with Peggy." Steve nodded. "It was after we captured Zola. I was so numb." Steve frowned. "Bucky was everything I had. I, watching him fall, knowing I wasn't fast enough, strong enough...I am still not sure there's words to describe what I felt that day. We got back and it was pouring down, the camp was nothing but a quagmire. I just stood in the rain. It had been raining hard like that when I found out he'd been captured, then...his death. I still hate the rain."

"Tell Thor, bet he'll turn it off for you." 

It was Steve's turn to snort. "It's fine, I'll live. Peggy saw me and drug me to her quarters, she stripped me of my uniform and dried me off. I remember everything, but it's all hazed over with grief. I hate that my one night with her will forever be tainted by Schmidt."

"At least you remember the first person you slept with." Tony offered. "I think it was a girl, but I was too drunk to remember. I was fifteen."

"Tony." Steve's voice was sad.

"Yeah I know." Tony sighed, he'd heard that before too, "I was out of control, in clubs I shouldn't have known existed, let alone in. Drinking, drugs, but still pulling all A's with almost no studying. It's how I met Rhodie. He pulled me out of this frat party when he realized how old I wasn't. Then I proceeded to puke on him."

Steve shook his head a half of a chuckle breaking free. "Pretty much did the same thing to Bucky when I met him. He pulled this bully off me, flung him down the alley a good five feet, and for an eight year old that was pretty impressive. He stands me up, but it was too fast and up came my lunch."

"Oh god. Wonder if Barton puked on Romanoff or Coulson? We can start a 'I puked on my BFF club'." Tony laughed.

Steve liked the sound, it was warm and rich, full of life, he decided to try and make Tony laugh as often as he could. "Maybe."

"Wanna bet Thor won't be a member?"

Steve shook his head, "No I can't see Thor heave hoeing on one of the Warriors Three or Lady Sif." 

Tony smiled at the metal picture. "I should go down to the shop and work on a few things." Tony said flopping on to his back, only to stiffen as the welts touched the sheets.

"No, it can wait till tomorrow. If you're still groggy I don't want you playing with any of your oversized toys."

"Watch a movie with me then?"

"Could be talked into that."

Tony smiled, "I'll even let you pick."

"What a gracious host." Steve said letting the sarcasm drip.

"Yep."

Steve took pity on Tony and didn't torture him with his ongoing list of movies to catch up on. He'd once asked about a t-shirt he'd seen Tony wear with a shirtless man playing a record. Bruce had told him it was a graphic design of Bruce Lee, a martial arts master. Bruce told him about a few movies about the man and that there were several where he had been the star. He asked Jarvis to cue up Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story while Tony was in the bathroom. 

"No way. You are messing with me." Tony exclaimed when the movie started.

"No. Figured you had a shirt with him on it for a reason, thought I should find out what that might be."

Tony smiled and settled in for the movie, his side flush against Steve's. He gave Steve all the juicy side story that wasn't shown in the film, until he fell asleep again against Steve's shoulder. Steve just picked Tony up and carried him back to his bed, and tucked him back in again.

@@@

After a few hours of training Jarvis's voice spoke up telling him Tony was awake. Steve bounded up the stairs to the penthouse to check on his friend.

"Shouldn't have let me sleep." Tony mumbled from in front of the coffee maker.

"You needed it, or you wouldn't have fallen asleep." Steve pointed out.

"Still."

"Why don't you come down to the gym with me and stretch a little, I can see you're stiff again."

Tony chocked on his coffee as the the double entendres came out of Steve's mouth.

"Seriously?" Steve asked, his face red.

"You said it." Tony pointed out.

"Your back, not your dick." Steve huffed out.

Tony shrugged, "Probably a good idea."

"Come on, I'll even take the elevator back down."

"You took the stairs?!" Tony's eyes went wide.

It was Steve's turn to shrug. "It was only ten flights."

Tony's face went a little green but he refrained from saying anything.

The duo made it down to gym and Steve helped Tony through a set of light stretches and a few katas that Nat had taught him. In the end he was pleased with the way Tony moved, free and generally wince free. 

Then the alarm sounded and he was grateful for the timing. Tony would be able to fight and maybe even come out of the fight unhurt.

Tony was fine during the battle, and the next and the following three. 

@@@

It was almost five months before Steve started to noticed unfinished projects scattered around the tower. Six months before Clint snaps at Tony's incessant chatter after Clint gets a concussion on a mission with Natasha. Six months before Sam asked if Tony was feeling alright, was he coming down with something?

Steve watched Tony in the workshop again, he's not nearly as frantic as before but again files are opened and never finished. Again Tony's grace is gone, replaced with jerky and stilted movements. Steve talks to Clint and Clint felt like an ass for not seeing Tony's needs again. 

"We don't know his patterns yet." Steve said. "We barely know his tells."

"And I've made it worse by yelling at him." Clint rested his head in his hands. "I'm not up to it. God I don't think I could even get it up if Laura was standing here naked, covered in Nutella."

Steve laughed at that, "Pretty sure she's at the wanting to kill you stage of her pregnancy anyways."

"Don't remind me. I called before the mission and got a run down of every offense the kids have committed in the last two weeks, including the one who can't do anything other than summersaults on her bladder." Clint sat up. "I'm going home day after tomorrow. I just couldn't go home today with this." He waved towards the faded bruise. "It would make her worry to much. And wasn't quit up to the noise level of two rowdy children stressed by a new baby. Fuck I'm a shitty father."

"No you're not. You aren't home snapping at them because you used your head as a battering ram."

"Fine I'll let you take the guilt." Clint gently flopped his head back onto the back of the couch before asking, "Do you think you can handle him alone?" Clint's tone implying so much when he adds, "You could ask Nat."

"I'll talk to her. I don't want to overwhelm him though. He's not as bad as before. Maybe he just needs some time away from everything." 

Clint shrugged. "Ask her, talk to him. Let me know how it goes. I'm going to sleep for about 18 hours."

Steve found Nat in the kitchen eating a bowl of cereal, it was a little strange to see her doing something so mundane. "So you free later?" Steve asked.

"Can be. What's up, Cap?"

"Tony." Steve answered simply. "I think he's stressed himself out again."

"He ask?"

Steve's shoulders drop as he shook his head no, "No. I seriously don't think he sees it, or even knows he's at the point of feeling it. He's not as bad as the last time. I'll talk to him and see what he thinks he needs. Clint's not up to it though."

"If he needs an extra set of hands I'll be around." Natasha smiled, setting her hand on Steve's arm.

"Thanks."

Steve retraced his steps down to the workshop. Tony was draped over the table working on something so fine Steve could barely see it. When he got close enough, he saw it was the circuits to one of Natasha's Bites. Tony dropped the tool in his hand, wiped the sweat from his brow, then from his hand, before picking up the tool again. When he set the tool down again and stood up, Steve stepped into his space.

"Is there something that you wanted to tell me Tony?" Steve set his voice firm but open.

Tony jerked at Steve's voice in his ear and stumbled back into his arms. They went around him like bands. Something settled in Tony that he hadn't realized was out of place. "Oh."

"You didn't see it?"

Tony shook his head. "Told you both I probably wouldn't."

"Do you know what you need?" 

Steve's arms still held Tony tight. "Is that a question of "can you tell me" or a question of "do you know what I'm going to give you"?"

"Do you know and can you tell me what you need?" Steve restated to the question.

"I'm not sure. I've never been at a point of consciously knowing that I needed to do this." Tony honestly felt better just having Steve pinning him like this. Ropes weren't something he'd done more than once or twice but suddenly they seemed very alluring. "How do you feel about ropes?" Tony asked softly.

"If it's what you feel you need, I feel very open to them." Steve was a little happier about this, Tony was asking for something other than being beaten and chocked. 

Tony tried for the whole open communications thing, "I think they might be. Having you hold me like this," Tony moved his arms, "has been enough to settle me a little. But I also have the feeling as soon as you let go it will come rushing back in."

"Do you have rope here?" 

"I have a prototype I've been working on."

Steve grimaced, the word prototype and Tony, could sometimes be a mixed bag. "Is it stable?"

Tony chuckled, "It's awesome, just cost prohibitive at this point."

Steve thought for a minute, "Do you think I'll be able to help you enough, or do I need to call Natasha?"

Tony swallowed down the fear that flipped through him, he'd been obvious again and the team had talked about him. Again.

Steve felt the shiver run through Tony and felt the flinch at Natasha's name. "I asked Clint but with his concussion he didn't think he'd be able to help you. He asked me to ask Natasha because he knows that this will only be my second time in this situation and he wanted to make sure I didn't hurt you by not knowing something." So those hadn't been his words but Steve knew that was the reason for the suggestion to ask her. No one else in the tower had done this either.

"Can we call her later if...?" Tony asked, trying to find the degree of settled he'd had a moment ago.

"If you are comfortable with that."

Tony nodded and everything slipped back into its little groves.

"Did you ever decide where?"

Tiny swallowed, and shook his head no. 

"Will you be comfortable in your room?"

Nodding after a second got Steve's arms tightening around Tony's chest slightly. "Where is the rope?"

"Third cabinet from the left, second shelf, in the back."

Steve shifted his tone to more Captain than Steve, "Go to your room, strip and sit on the floor next to the foot of your bed." Steve waited for Tony to nod before he let go. 

Tony slumped at the loss of the hold. He quickly left before he could beg Steve just to keep a hold of him. In the elevator Tony managed not to be sick, his stomach rolled and he sank down so he was sitting on his heels. "J?"

"Sir?" Jarvis tone came through with concern.

"Remind me in a few months I need this. I hate that the team needs to watch me." Tony's voice was small.

"Yes, Sir. Will there be anything else?"

"Um maybe give Cap a crash course in tying up someone with diminished lung capacity." Tony knew part of the nausea he was feeling was due to the way Steve had been holding him and the rest was fear and nerves.

"Of course."

Steve took a moment and gather his thoughts. Did he even know how to tie someone up for this sort of thing? 

"Captain, Sir asked that I provide you with some information regarding his binding request."

"Great." Several windows blinked up in front of him and he cursed as he read the first one. "Did I hurt him Jarvis?"

"No sir. Sir was at most uncomfortable. I, as alway, was monitoring him and would have warned you before you caused any damage."

"Alright. I wish he wouldn't have been so nervous about Nat." Steve said mostly to himself.

He found the rope and kept skimming the articles that followed him. "Uh maybe let Bruce know, just so if something happens..."

"How much of Sir's request would you like me to relay?"

"Guess all of it. He only asked to be tied."

There was silence in the elevator while Steve flicked one screen after another closed. There were a few diagrams of patterns that worked for individuals who had had open heart surgery scars, Steve memorized them before closing them as well. 

"Dr. Banner said he will be awake all night, working, if he is needed. I mentioned Sir's reluctance to allowing Agent Romanoff's participation. Dr. Banner said he would not mention anything."

"Thanks." Steve took a deep breath to calm his nerves before stepping out into the living room. He strode to Tony's bedroom finding Tony exactly as he'd been told, naked and kneeling near the foot of his bed. 

Steve watched Tony for a moment. If Tony had turned towards the door he would have seen Steve, but he was looking straight ahead. He'd knelt on the floor, a mild shiver running through him now and then. Steve didn't know if it was a chilled shiver from being naked, a fear shiver from asking for something outside of his normal repertoire or a combination. He walked over, stopping when he was even with Tony. "Is your safe word still Edwin?"

"Yes.

"Jarvis please have small snack sized food delivered. Raise the temperature to 75 degrees. Then no further communications unless one of us says our previously mentioned safewords or until Tony had slept for at least eight hours."

"Of course, Captain."

Tony didn't know he was leaning into Steve's leg until he was pressed up against it. Steve radiated heat all the time, so it made sense that he wanted to be a little closer to the walking heater until the room warmed up a bit.

"Untie my shoes." Steve voice was firm. 

Tony jerked at the soft command but complied. When they were loose, Steve toed them off and pushed them aside. "Stand up."

Tony was upright before Steve finished speaking. Steve let the length of rope uncoil at Tony's feet and watched him shiver, this time Steve saw the anticipation.

Steve wrapped the first length around Tony's chest, inches below the reactor, then another. Then one after another, he would thread the next through the one above it until Tony's entire stomach was covered in the simple weave. Steve back tracked and adjusted a few loops so they would lay more uniform over Tony's skin. 

Every so often as he threaded the rope through its companion Steve would look up to Tony's face. Tony's eyes had slipped closed and his face was lax. When Steve took a hold of Tony's right arm and pressed it closer to his hip, tony shivered. Steve started winding up Tony's arm threading it through the loops at his waist until he reached the top, where he added a loop on the top of the rope around Tony's chest and worked his way down his left arm. When he had both arms bond, there was a few feet left over so he wove it into the center and created a quick grid pattern. 

Steve had been listening to Tony's breathing the entire time making sure he was getting plenty of air, he traced his hands over each of Tony's hands making sure they were still warm with a fresh supply of blood. He was pleased to find them warm, and that he hadn't tied anything to tightly.

"So patient for me." Steve stood next to Tony. "Such a good boy." Steve saw every line of Tony soften. "So wonderful. Do you want to see?"

Tony nodded once but then shook his head no. 

"What do you need?" Steve hadn't brought attention to Tony's erection. It had appeared around the time Steve had started to wrap Tony's right arm. He didn't want to bring up sex unless Tony needed it. Though the amount of pre-come leaking from Tony's cock was a probably pretty good indicator.

"May I lay down, sir?" Tony's voice wasn't slurred per say, but the s was drawn out just a bit longer than Tony would normal say it. 

"Yes." Steve set his hands gently on Tony's shoulders to guide him the few steps to the middle of the bed and back onto it.

"How do you feel?"

"Soft. Always so sharp before." Tony's voice low and light. "Please?"

"Please what? What do you need?"

Tony shivered at the tone Steve had used. Firm but without any edge to it.

"Please will you take me?"

"Yes." Steve watched as Tony's whole body rolled with anticipation then stilled. Steve stepped away and undressed, making a side trip to the closet first. He finds a few ties, bringing them back to the bed, he gently rested his palm onto Tony's chest. "Bend your leg at the knee." Steve ordered, his hand moving to Tony's left leg. Tony did and Steve tied two of the ties together. He looped it around Tony's thigh twice before feeding both ends through the loops that held Tony's arm to his stomach. It damaged the aesthetic of what he'd done with the rope but he was the only one who was going to see it.

He sat back and took in the picture before him. He took a moment and memorized every detail, wishing he had his sketching pad. He would ask Tony later if he could the memory.

He shook his head and opened the drawer finding the same bottle of lube as last time, the same amount missing. Steve wanted to think it was a coincidence but the print on the bottle from before had been smeared and was flawed. This bottle had the same flaw. He some how doubted Tony would managed to get two bottles exactly the same. He added that to his list of questions to ask Tony, after.

Gently, reverently, he worked Tony open, listening to Tony's moans, whimpers, gasps. The silver rope darkening were Tony's cock rubbed against it, each press of Steve's fingers pushing more clear fluid from Tony's body.

When Steve could press three fingers in easily, he pulled them free. "Do you still want to do with this without protection?"

"Yes." Tony's voice was breathy.

"Alright." Steve moved up the bed and nudged his cock against Tony's ass. "Open your eyes."

Tony blinked them open slowly. 

Steve pressed in and watched brown eyes flutter shut with a gasping whimper. Steve smiled, Clint had never gotten that sound from Tony. Steve sets a slow deep rhythm making sure to drag the head of his cock over Tony's gland with each thrust. The groan he got each time goes straight to his heart.

Each time Tony's breathing speeds up, Steve stops, buried in Tony, until it slows again. He keeps them on that razor fine edge until Tony is pleading to let him come, until his voice fluctuates between high and reedy and soft and pleading. 'Til the words are barely coherent. Then he drops them both over the edge with three words. 

"Come for me."

Tony comes silently but for a tiny gasp, his whole body seizes, back arched as much as it can with the binding. Steve losses the rest of the details when he closes his eyes as he fills Tony.

He flutters his eyes open finally and sees the most beautiful thing. Tony's face relaxed, eyes heavily hooded, mouth open a tiny bit, panting. 

Steve isn't sure the etiquette for a scene but he's not sure he cares and kisses Tony. He slips free, breaks the kiss and reaches out checking that both hands are still warm. 

Steve let's Tony stay a little longer in the haze of his orgasm. He pushes off the bed to the bathroom, getting a couple wash clothes to clean them up. Once he's done he asks, "Are you ready to come out of the binding?"

Tony nods sleepily, but rolls to his side to sit up. Steve sets about undoing the laces. He winces at the red indentations in Tony's skin. "Was it to tight?" Tony doesn't speak, just shakes his head no. Steve's a little worried but remembers Tony wasn't very vocal last time either. Once the rope is free, Steve gently runs his hand up and down Tony's imprinted body. Tony shivers and becomes nothing but putty, to the point he's having a hard time staying upright. Steve guides him so he's laying down again, curling up along side of him. It doesn't take long for them to slip into sleep.

@@@

Steve wakes first again, he slips free from Tony and checks the kitchen. There are a large tray of meats, cheeses, fruits and vegetables as well as an array of juice and flavored waters. Steve picks it all up and carries it into the bedroom. 

Tony sleeps for just over six hours. He wakes slowly, wrapped in a blanket, a super solider providing the external heating source. 

Steve had very carefully wrapped him in the blanket, making sure both arms are free but wrapping him tight. One of Steve's arm acting as his pillow, the other holding Tony's burrito'ed body close.

Tony feels safe and relaxed in a way he's only ever gotten from flying the suit. He's never had this feeling with another person with in two miles of him, let alone touching him.

"Are you ready for some juice? Or would you like yo go back to sleep?" Steve voice was warm in a way that told Tony he'd been asleep until just now. 

"Juice." Tony whispered. He was still sluggish, so his word was a bit slurred. Steve rolled on to his back and before Tony could complain he was back with a cup and straw. Tony sipped on the cup for a moment and realized all that had done was make him have to pee. 

"Need out." 

"To tight?" Steve moved quickly but gently.

"Pee." 

"Ah. Okay." 

The blanket moved and fell away from him. He shivered despite the warmth of the room. 

"Are you okay?"

Tony shrugged. He moved to the edge of the bed and set his feet down. There was a little dissociation there. He knew his feet are touching the floor but he couldn't really feel his feet touching the floor. Tony shook his head no. 

Steve got up and came around the bed, once in front of Tony, he helped him to stand taking almost all of Tony's weight. In front of the toilet Steve flushed red and asked, "Um?"

Tony smiled and flipped up the lid and made a hand movement he hoped conveyed, 'Turn me around'. It must have because a few shuffled steps later, Steve set Tony down on the chilled seat, then sets one of Tony's hands on the counter and left him.

Nature handled, Tony managed to get himself vertical but Steve was by his side before he tried to walk and ended up horizontal. Back in the bed he made grabby hands at the cheese. Steve smiled, wrapping Tony up in the blanket before pulling him back to his chest and pulling the tray over to them.

The pair nibbled awhile before Tony fell asleep again. Steve ran his hand up and down Tony's exposed skin. He wanted to pull up another blanket but Tony wasn't in a deep enough sleep for that. Steve dozed for a few more hours, arms draped around Tony. 

The next time Tony woke Jarvis spoke, "Sir, Miss Potts would like to speak to you."

"Sure, J." Tony mumbled. 

"Tony I've been trying to get a hold of you for hours."

Tony cringed, that was Pepper's more the miffed but not yet pissed tone, "Sorry, Pep, been a little tied up."

"I need you to sign the papers I left with you."

Tony sighed, "I thought I made you CEO so I didn't have to sign things. That whole executive part of chief executive officer."

"Yes well certain things require the company owners signature." She sighed.

"Fine. I'll sign them and send them."

"Send them to Shanghai." 

Tony flinched, "Right conference." 

"Yes, conference. Conference you were suppose to go to and give a speech to."

"Right." Was hard to think still, it should be better. 

"You are using less and less words Tony."

"Sorry."

"Tony what's going on?" Her tone was working towards pissed with each sentence.

"Nothing. Just running low." Tony swallowed, he'd lied to Pepper before, right. He could do it again.

"Tony." This time the tone of Pepper's voice made Tony physical flinch. It was the tone that she used when she knew he'd done something he knew she wouldn't approve of. Like get fucked stupid.

"I'm fine. Not in any danger. Big boy here."

"Uh huh."

"Fine I have a babysitter, alright. Cap is right here."

"Alright then. Shanghai," she reminded him before ending the call.

Tony picked at a few pills on the blanket before a large hand stilled his fingers. The hand gathered both of his hands up and moved them up to his chest where they were met by the other large hand and held. "I'll have Bruce or Clint get the papers and bring them up here. Then we are going back to sleep."

"Slept for eight or Jarvis wouldn't have put Pep through." Tony tried to point out.

"And you're already loosing the calm you had. So a little more sleep and we try again."

Tony felt a wash of panic. The arms gently tightened. "You tried something different. It wasn't as effective as what you do normally. Now you know. Maybe being bound and ..." Steve had to pause, had to swallow to push out the words, "being bound and wiped or chocked will be right. You did nothing wrong. If anything I did. I don't know what I'm doing."

Tony turned in Steve's arms and was glad they stayed around him when he straddled Steve's lap. "You did fine. I'm the fu-." Tony's words were cut off when Steve put his hand over Tony's mouth.

"You are not a fuck-up. You tried something new. Something less violent than your normal release. If the world had left you alone for a while longer it might have been enough."

Tony slumped, but nodded.

"Where are the papers?" Steve asked pulling his hand away.

"Shop, middle terminal, sixth binder from the bottom." 

"Jarvis, can you see if Bruce or Clint can bring up the binder?"

"Yes, Captain."

Steve pulled the blanket out from between them, then pulled Tony down to his chest. Steve realized he'd been very lax on giving Tony praise. He figured that was a least part of the problem. "You were so wonderful for me Tony. You didn't waiver at anything I told you to do." Steve ran his hand up and down Tony's back. He felt the tension start to bleed away again, "You are such a good person. Hm. So marvelous. You take such good care of all of us. I'm so glad to be able to help you. So happy to give you back a little of what you shower us with." He heard the soft sigh and let the smile peek out. "Such a good boy."

To his left, out of Tony's line of sight, Jarvis displayed security footage of Clint coming up the elevator with a binder and a pen. While Steve was glad it was Clint, he wished it was Bruce instead, if only because that meant Clint was still resting.

Clint came in slowly, making enough notice to announce his presence but not enough to startle anyone. "Fellas. Cap treating you right, Tony?"

"Yep."

Clint toed the discarded rope with a raised eyebrow. Steve gave a one shoulder shrug. "Exploring options. Not a touch down."

"Cap used football analogy," Tony play gasped.

"A home run is still only one point, this was more like a conversion."

Clint chuckled, then with a tone showing his seriousness about the situation he asked, "You up enough to sign whatever legal document I'm holding?" 

"I've signed bigger with less. I've bought entire companies so shitfaced I thought I was buying dinner." Tony sat up and reached for the binder.

Clint handed it over along with the pen. Tony nodded taking both. He scrawled something across the pages in a few places and pushed his thumb to the ink pad and then to the top sheet page. "Jarvis?"

"The currier will be here in ten minutes and the jet will be ready by the time he arrives at the airport. The document should be to Ms. Potts in fourteen hours."

"Thank you Jarvis." Steve answered. 

"As always, Sir's."

"I'll take this down to the lobby. Then you can tell me about this two point conversion." Clint said before disappearing. 

"Are you okay to talk?"

Tony settled back into Steve's chest. "Not not okay."

"That wasn't an answer."

"If I have to, yes. Do I want to, no. Don't want to deal with life yet."

"Jarvis tell Clint Tony'll talk to him later."

"We'll talk to him later," Tony said.

Steve kissed Tony's temple. "Okay. Think you can sleep for just a bit longer?"

"Maybe." Tony's words slurring again as he listened to the steady rhythm of Steve's heart. 

Steve sang softly and listened to Tony's breathing fall into a slow steady rhythm in time with his own.

"I see the moon, the moon sees me  
shining through the leaves of the old oak tree  
Oh, let the light that shines on me  
shine on the one I love.

Over the mountain, over the sea,  
back where my heart is longing to be  
Oh, let the light that shines on me  
shine on the one I love.

I hear the lark, the lark hears me  
singing from the leaves of the old oak tree  
Oh, let the lark that sings to me  
sing to the one I love,

Over the mountains, over the sea  
back where my heart is longing to be  
Oh, let the lark that sings to me  
sing to the one I love."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the inspiration for Tony's binding.  
> Not exactly the same but close. 
> 
>  
> 
> http://orig13.deviantart.net/e6c9/f/2008/345/a/f/rope_underbust_and_arm_binding_by_gnomeofmaille.jpg


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the song has obviously become a thing.  
> Not sure why but it has.   
> Also the "come for me" has become a thing.   
> Ehh it's their show. I'm just hitting a little glass screen in varying combination of 26 characters.

Steve's hands never stilled while Tony dozed. It was about an hour and a half before Tony woke again. "How do you feel?"

"Half way strung out." Tony answered. "Everything feels almost itchy."

"I'm sorry." Steve swallowed down the self depreciating thoughts. He brought he hand up and wrapped his fingers around Tony's throat, no pressure. "Is this what you need?"

Tony gasped and shivered. He nodded and felt his Adam's apple press into Steve hand. 

"Was I to soft? Is that why it didn't help?"

Tony could only shrug. "Maybe."

Tony had still been sitting in Steve's lap, his side to Steve chest. Steve turned him so his back was to Steve chest. He moved Tony's legs so they fell to either side of his. Steve groped for the bottle and found it under a pillow, his other hand over Tony's throat again. He coated his fingers with the clear liquid and pressed into Tony. He was still mostly open before before. He was careful but made sure Tony was not quite as loose before, he picked him up and slowly lowered him down onto his cock. 

Tony hissed at the tight fit, but it felt amazing. The hint of burn, was literally burning away the itch. Once he was sitting on Steve's thighs, an arm wrapped around his lower ribs and the other hand came back to his throat. His cock jerked and the itch eased into almost nothingness. 

Both of Steve's hands lifted him, the one below his ribs doing most of the lifting, but the one around his throat, that was the one were a delicious amount of pressure came from. 

Steve felt Tony's muscles relax even as they coiled with building lust. "God, look at you. So beautiful, so relaxed. Letting me do what I want with you. Hmm so good for me." 

Tony shivered and felt everything pool in his stomach, his cock leaking, smearing the clear fluid on his stomach and Steve's arm. 

"Such a good boy. Telling me what you need. Telling me I was wrong."

Tony thrashed his head. Steve wasn't wrong, Tony was.

"No, no. I didn't get it right. It's not your fault." Steve tightened his hand around Tony's throat, just a bit. "This is better."

Tony could not deny it. Every thrust of Steve's cock into Tony's body burned away the itch that had been building, every second his breath was restricted forged together another price of his shattered mind. 

Steve felt the flutter around his cock, then next down stroke he held Tony still, "I didn't say you could come yet. Did I?"

Tony writhed in his arms, trying not to whimper as the orgasm slipped away from him. "No." 

"That's right. You're not ready yet are you?" 

"No. N-" Tony fought to keep still. 

"Shush. I've got you." Steve carefully pulled Tony's head back until it rested on his shoulder. "I've got you." When he felt Tony relax once more, Steve picked up where he left off. Over and over he pushed Tony to the edge but then denied them both. 

Then Tony whispered. Steve, even with his super hearing, couldn't hear what it was. "What?" Steve voice was soft in Tony's ear.

"Please."

"Then come for me."

Tony's body locked up. Every muscle ridged, Steve's hands becoming iron brands holding him together again. 

It was a little difficult with how tight Tony became, but Steve fucked Tony through his orgasm and followed him just as Tony's wrung itself out. 

Steve collapsed against the headboard, his chest heaving with the strain of his orgasm and Tony's dead weight leaning against him. He let them topple to the side and held Tony close. When there was no reaction to the shift, Steve shifted Tony over and slipped out from behind him. Leaning over Tony, Steve found a glassy-eyed Tony. A Tony so relaxed he was on the verge of drooling. A Tony unable to keep a coherent though together. Steve watched Tony blink once, twice, swallow, blink once, twice, then Tony's eyes closed and Steve watched as slumber took Tony with it.

Steve sat back, he reached a shaking hand out and gently brushed Tony's matted hair away from his cheek. The second Tony was asleep, ten years had been erased from his face. Steve nodded at his success. 

Steve moved off the bed and stepped into the shower, Jarvis having already turned it on to his likings. 

Steve stood under the shower long enough to feel decadent before he washed and got out. He dried off and pulled his pants on from earlier. He grabbing his shirt to keep in his heat and ventured to the kitchen. 

Clint came in carrying a large paper bag with Giovanni's logo on the side. "Figured you'd need a carb load again," Clint offered.

"Thanks." Steve all but crumbled into a dinning room chair. 

"Alright?" Clint asked, his worry evident in his tone.

Steve blushed bright red, "Yeah, sure. I uh just, seem to have no um-"

"You're stamina in this situation isn't as good as it in others?" Clint interrupted.

Steve slumped even further in the chair, "Yeah something like that."

"It's taxing but not to your body." Clint nodded.

"Suppose not." Steve pulled out the containers and scattered them in front of him. 

"He better?"

"For now." Steve said with a half a shrug. 

"Wanna talk?"

"I've got no clue what I'm doing. I'm winging it and that's not good for him."

Clint popped a hip,up on the table top and asked, "So whatda wing?"

"He wanted to try being tied up. Think would have been fine, but I forgot the rest of it. The praise and well the-"

Clint finished, "Breath play."

Steve nodded. "Then Pepper called and everything crumbled. After he slept, we tried again. I wrapped him up," Steve held his arms the way they had been around Tony. "Made him hold out 'til he begged."

"So pretty much what he said he needed the first time."

"Well other than beating him, yeah." Steve finished the a carton of chicken tortellini. 

Clint watched Steve for a moment, "You still okay with all this?"

"Yeah. Wish I didn't have to be." Steve back peddled a little, "I mean, I just wish he hadn't had to endure so much that this is what he has to do to deal with it."

"What do you do Steve?" Clint asked quietly. "How do you deal with losing everything you knew?"

"Draw. Don't think about it. Let it go."

"Really, don't ever say that around Tony. You will never hear the end of the Frozen jokes."

"And that's different from now?"

Clint smiled, "He doesn't call you Elsa."

Steve snorted. Now he got it, the movie Frozen. "Think Capcicle is enough." Steve finished off a spaghetti Bolognese before he asked, "When I heard Pepper talking to Tony, I got the impression she didn't know about this. Do you think he ever told her?"

Clint shook his head. "Some how I don't think so. Jarvis?"

"Not that I am aware of Sirs. I believe if she had seen him after an event before Afghanistan Ms. Potts would have assumed it was just a night of sex. After..." Jarvis left the statement hanging.

"After she payed the PR department overtime to spin his latest meltdown," Clint finished. 

Steve flinched but nodded. "Probably."

"You thinking she needs to know?"

Steve drug a hand over his face, "Not if she's going to judge him for it. There's a reason he never told her. Even today, he deflected her questions like she was a reporter. Think that's part of why it went south. He was calm, had slept for eight hours, but the minute he heard her voice, it was all gone."

"Think he's ever told Colonel Rhodes?" 

Steve shook his head and shrugged, "Doubt it. He kept this from Jarvis." Steve pointed out. 

"Yeah, he would never have programmed kink shaming into Jarvis. So yeah if he didn't do this around Jarvis then this isn't something he told them."

"Kink shamming?" Steve shook his head. "Why would anybody do that? Never mind. This century sucks. Well, they both have actually. I'm going to go back and sit with him. When are you heading out?"

Clint grimaced, "Got to wait an extra day. There's a bad thunder storm set to roll through. I'll come with you. I can sleep here just as easily as in my room."

Steve smiled and nodded. "Might be nice for him to wake up to."

"Yeah, sure this ugly mug."

"Laura likes it well enough."

"Got me there, Cap."

The pair slipped quietly into the bedroom. Steve ditched all of his clothes and snuggled up to Tony's back, taking big spoon. Clint ditched his shirt and jeans and tangled his legs up in with Tony's. Tony started to stir at being jostled but Steve started singing and he settled right down.

"That song is perfect." Clint whispered.

Steve shrugged, "You picked it."

Clint nodded, "Sing it again. 'Bout put me out."

Steve held the chuckle back but it as hard work.

"I see the moon, the moon sees me  
shining through the leaves of the old oak tree  
Oh, let the light that shines on me  
shine on the one I love.

Over the mountain, over the sea,  
back where my heart is longing to be  
Oh, let the light that shines on me  
shine on the one I love.

I hear the lark, the lark hears me  
singing from the leaves of the old oak tree  
Oh, let the lark that sings to me  
sing to the one I love,

Over the mountains, over the sea  
back where my heart is longing to be  
Oh, let the lark that sings to me  
sing to the one I love."


	4. Chapter 4

"Why are you still here bird boy?" Tony mumbled. 

"Because I won't ask Thor to clear out the thunder clouds on the way home."

"Hm, Kay."

"Steve had to answer a call from Sam, he should be back soon though."

Tony nodded.

"You okay to talk a bit?"

Tony shrugged. 

"He's scared he's doing more harm than good."

Tony winced. "Wasn't him."

"Did you not ask, did he ignore something you asked for?"

"No, I... I've only done this a handful of times," Tony’s voice was just above a whisper. "I don't know. I don't have a manual or an algorithm. He came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me, asked if I knew what I needed. And suddenly I could breath. Sort of. The reactor, he...the way he held me wasn't very good for that. Maybe that's why. Everything felt good while we were doing it."

"Can I ask a question? One your are completely allowed to ignore."

Tony finally opened his eyes and looked at Clint, "You're going to anyway, so ask."

"Did Pepper or Rhodie ever know?"

"Rhodie might. Never told him outright, but he's known me longer than anyone. Pepper can accept a lot of things about me this was never going to be one of them." Tony shrugged. "We were at a party once, a couple turned it into a small scene. Little humiliation, little face slapping, bit of praise, no sex; said it gave her the willies."

"Your dad ever know?"

Tony shook his head no. "Didn't try it until after he died. Well other than the obligatory tie as a blindfold."

"Cap's back." Clint said at the sound of the elevator. He felt Tony shiver and saw the look of contentment deep in Tony's face. He'd have to tell Steve he's doing just fine. "You want to get up or snuggle a bit more with your personal electric snuggie?"

"Can you stay a bit longer?"

"Yep."

"Don't want to move,” Tony mumbled.

Clint rolled to his back a bit before calling out, "We need an overheated super solider in here."

"Good thing there's one handy then." Steve said. "Anyone want anything while I'm still standing?"

In a soft almost shy tone Tony asked, ”Is there still cheese?” 

"Yes, you want a few pieces?" 

Tony nodded, "Maybe two."

Steve watched his face, he was please to see the stress still smoothed out. He moved the lid on the tray and picked one cheddar and one Swiss. Tony made the cute little crabby hands again. Still smiling he set them in Tony’s hand. "I'm going to put this in the fridge then I'm all yours."

Clint rolled back onto his side and brushed a lock of Tony's hair from his forehead. He felt Tony press up into the touch. He looked up at the camera and mouthed, 'Touch starved still'.

A light blinked and Clint assumed it was confirmation that Jarvis understood. 

A few seconds later Steve was back in the room shirt already off and jeans unbuttoned. He slid in behind Tony wrapping both the engineer and the archer up. They both felt Tony melt into the embrace. 

"Do I owe Laura more flowers?" Tony whispered.

"Only for having what will no doubt be the most adorable baby ever in the history of babies in the universe."

"Okay."

"You should come out in a couple days. Natasha's coming, she's got to do the whole scowling auntie thing because the baby is a Nathaniel not a Natasha." 

“How are the kids taking it?” Steve asked softly.

Clint ran a hand over Tony’s hair, while he watched Cap run his hand up and down Tony’s arm. “Okay, for now. Cooper’s been through it before, Lila’s excited for now. In a month when they realize the kid hasn't a clue how to sleep through the night…”

“Yeah think a day trip, maybe,” Tony yawned. “Why am I still so tired?”

“Lots of stress and not enough sleep,” Clint offered. “Sleep if you can.”

“Mhhmm,” a second later Tony was asleep again.

When Clint was sure he was all the way out, he spoke again. “I think if he tried something once a month he wouldn't need as much. He’s comfortable with you. If you're willing you should use that comfort.”

“As what? His dom or his boyfriend?”

“What ever you two decide it is. Look, you are doing better than you think. And like he told me there’s no instructions, he needs someone he feels safe around. That is you. If you feel you don't know enough, learn. Read every article you can fine, on valid sights, find every book. Go to the clubs and talk to other doms. Talk to him without him needing to be put back together again first.”

“Do you think I can?”

“Yes, I wouldn't have said it if I didn't mean it.”

“I kept comparing it to the first time, how he reacted, how he sounded,” Steve shrugged. “He said with the ropes it was softer, what he needed. I think its why I didn't try choking him.”

“With as little play as he’s actually had, the fact that he knows any of it is a good start. Do the kink chart thing, well after you read up some more.”

“Do you think he’d ever need to switch? I don't know if I could do that for him.”

“Always a chance, but maybe it could be just ordering you to do what he wants done to him. Topping from the bottom, they call it. If he needs to take it out on someone, it’s not like we can’t and don't all spar.”

Steve shrugged, “True.”

“Just don't forget the praise. I honestly think thats the biggest thing for him. Not that he will ever admit it. Everyone, Howard, the media, the government, they all focus on his flaws, thats all he's heard for decades. That and just touching him, that might have been a bigger thing with the ropes. You had to keep touching him to wrap it around him.”

Steve thought for a moment, “I don’t think I ever stopped, there was always one hand touching him in some way.”

“Try it over the next few weeks, hugs, hand on his arm when you walk by him, that kind of thing.”

Steve nodded. 

“You interested if he ops for the boyfriend option?”

“I never thought of it before, but yeah,” Steve could feel his cheeks flush at the declaration.

“And if you go that route and he needs one of us, can you share?”

Steve kept himself from jerking back at the question by the skin of his teeth mostly because he was afraid the movement would startle Tony awake. 

Could he let someone else touch Tony? 

Yes, if Tony needed someone other than Steve to help him settle, he could share. He would just work harder to make sure Tony didn't get to that point. “I would like to think I would put his wellbeing first.”

“That sounded like a very diplomatic ‘over my dear body’.”

“Maybe, but I meant it.”

Clint sighed, these two were gonna be the death of each other. He could just see it. “Just remember to talk to each other. Never assume you know what’s going on in that brain of his.”

“Probably good advise for anyone.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So The Norns stopped being complete bitches to me for the moment and I got this written.  
> Its been a bit of a bitch to type because I had to have shoulder surgery, but its on the mend now.  
> PT says range of motion is great and strength will come back in the next week or two.   
> So here you go.

The team all took off three days later to visit Laura and the kids. Cooper all but bounced off the walls as everyone walked down the ramp, Lila hid behind her mom until she saw her Aunt Nat, then she was rushing down the steps to wrap around Natasha's leg. 

Laura smiled at the flowers everyone had. Tony was the only one without flowers, instead he had a large box. She was a little intimidated by what the crazy genius had built her. Her smile brightened even more when she saw Steve's hand on Tony's elbow. Laura hid the flinch of pain well as the tenth contraction of the day hit. Clint had picked the perfect day to come home, by night she was sure he would be holding his youngest son. 

Natasha being Natasha let Laura have an hour before she let it known that Laura was in labor and took over. The men, save Clint, scattered into the winds at the announcement. That was fine with both women, they’ed already done this together once. 

It was morning before the guys came back, each loaded with gifts and more flowers. Laura was sure that every florist in the county was now hanging signs saying, "SOLD OUT".

@@@

"It was nice to see Clint's family," Steve said as he set a plate down next to Tony a week after Nathaniel was born. "He said Laura loves the little robot you built her."

Tony smirked and shrugged, "He's just a slightly smarter version of DUMMY."

"Uhuh, yeah LEGGY." Everyone had chuckled at the name Tony had proclaimed belonged to the robot. "Why didn't you just name it Legolas?"

"Copyright infringement. Didn't want Tolkien's family pissed at me."

"Mmmmum." Steve crowed up to Tony and pulled him back so they nestled back to chest. "You okay?"

Tony nodded, he did reach for Steve's arms and wrap them gently around his chest. He'd notice Steve was a lot more touchy with him this last week. He hadn't said anything yet but he wondered what Clint and Steve had gotten up to the last time he'd fallen asleep between them. "I may have also set up some trusts for the kids and a life time supply of flowers to be sent to Laura."

"Tony..."

“No, it's all nearly untraceable." Tony interrupted Steve's admonishment. "Cash was taken into several banks and new accounts where made, then the money was transferred into one account. The flowers were prepaid from a prepaid debit card loaded at some little mom and pop bodega. Well, a couple mom and pops but I stayed within all the money laundering rules and some street kids got some spending cash."

"Just how many street kids, Tony? I know you, Clint's kids are never going to have to work."

"I was generous but not that generous. I knew both of them would be pissed if I gave the kids that much money. It was fifteen grand for Lila and Nathaniel. Twenty-five for Cooper because he's older. Not as much time to accrue interest. And so maybe each year they get another two grand." Tony shrugged again. "I don't have family to spend it on, I can make damn near anything I want, so I just-"

Steve interrupted Tony, "You do have family and you just spent it on them."

"Yeah okay."

"How about you grab that sandwich and we go watch a movie?"

"Sure."

Steve did an internal happy dance at the ability to pull Tony away from the shop. He was hoping to keep him away for at least two hours a week, just enough for a movie. He didn't want to do more than that because, like his drawing, he knew Tony needed the time in the shop. But he hoped the two hours would be enough time to keep Tony grounded and even enough to not need the sex scenes. 

When they curled up on the sofa in the penthouse, Steve pulled Tony over into his lap and wrapped his arms around him again. "This all right?"

"Seems to be," Tony answered. He could guess what Steve was going for. 

"Jarvis, maybe something funny?"

"Of course."

Monty Python cued up and Tony let out a relaxed sigh, "Good choice."

As the credits rolled Tony asked the question he'd been mulling over for weeks. "Are we dating?"

Steve's hand still from where it had been trailing up and down Tony's arm for a second and the started again. "Do you want to be dating?"

"Do you want to be?" Tony countered.

"I asked you first."

"Technically, but it seems like it might be a bigger issue to you than to me."

"You are the one who brought it up."

Tony sighed, "I've at least been with men before, hell for that fact I've at least been in a relationship before. From what you've told me, you haven't."

"Yes, I would like to be dating you. I would like to be the one who takes care of you."

"You are the one who's taken care of me." Tony said pulling Steve's arms around him tighter.

"No not like that, well yes that way to if you need it, but I meant just in general. I would like to see if maybe having someone to lean on and help you day to day will be a bit less stressful for you so that maybe you don't need that." Steve kissed the top of Tony's head, "If it doesn't help or even if it's just what you want right then, then I'm at your disposal."

"So if I told you I wanted you to take me into the bedroom and pin me to the bed and do any wicked thing that came to mind, you would be okay with that?" Tony whispered.

“Yes, Tony I would be okay with that. I might not have very many wicked things to try but I would be willing."

"Yet."

"Yet," Steve smiled as he rolled them so that he was underneath Tony, looking up. "I have no doubts that you will teach me all kinds of wicked things."

"Just don't let the press know. I didn't need a new moniker.” Steve's face scrunched up in confusion. "Debaucher of an American Icon, Soiler of The Star Spangled Man... I'm sure the press would come up with something much more clever."

Steve’s face turned apprehensive, ”Does that mean I can't take you on dates?"

"No, I suppose not. Just don't let slip our sex life."

"Never. It's between us." Steve pulled Tony down to him and sealed the promise with a chaste but heartfelt kiss, "just us."

Tony shivered, "If I need more?" He whispered, knowing that he was more than likely going to stress himself out again.   
"Then we'll deal with it. I won't leave you like that just because of my own ego, Tony. Never. You're more important than that."

Tony kissed Steve this time, "Take me?"

“Gladly," Steve was up, Tony still in his arms and walking down the hall before Tony could even breath. "Do you need anything?"

Tony shook his head, ”Just you."

“You did mention me pinning you to the bed. Are you trying to avoid asking because you think I’ll have a problem?” Steve set Tony down on the bed. 

“Okay, so maybe if you were a little pushy, it wouldn't be an issue,” Tony capitulated.

“If this is going to work, you have to tell me. If you are thinking it, its probably what you need,” Steve tried to keep his voice even, but it was hard. The first time they're going to be together as a couple and Tony is already trying to hide his needs.

“Sorry,” Tony reached up and pulled Steve down to him. “I want you to make love to me. I want you to make me think of only you. However you choose to do that, is fine with me.”

“That’s a good start.” Steve stood up straight and pulled Tony with him. He pulled Tony’s shirt free and over his head, his own shirt following quickly. He pulled Tony in and embraced him, “I know its a little touchy-feely coming from a guy born in the 1910’s but I want you to talk to me. I want you to be open with me. I think you have to be open with me. I think it’s going to be the only way to keep you balanced.”

“Okay. The only thing I can tell you is, I will try. I’ve never been very good at listening to myself. It is one of the reasons I built Jarvis. I knew once Edwin was gone, I would more than likely be screwed. And for a very long time I was. There is a good twenty plus years of bad habits to break.”

“Then we’ll work on breaking them.” Steve reached down and opened the belt and buttons on Tony’s jeans, making sure to give them a little push to help out gravity. His own khakis following the same fate. They had already ditched their shoes and socks, so it only took a few steps and they were both on the bed, naked and hard. “Lets see how much it takes to keep you from doing equations in your head.”

Tony nodded. “Probably an awful lot, if we’re being honest.”

“We are, we are being very honest.” Steve pinned Tony’s arms just above his head. “If I tell you to leave them there, can you do it? If you need help, ask for it.”

“I don’t know,” Tony answered as truthfully as he could. “If you want me to try, I will.”

“I want you to try, but I won’t be upset if you can’t,” then he proceeded to kiss down Tony’s chest to the reactor. It had always been a bit of a fascination for him. He wanted to know everything about it. “Are the scars sensitive?” he asked.

Tony nodded, “Some of them, well most, there are a few scattered ones I don’t seem to feel at all.”

Steve nodded and started at ‘twelve o’clock’ and began mapping the sensitive vs. numb scars. The scar at about eighteen minutes seemed to be a numb, as was twenty-one. Then he found another at fifty-two. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Tony’s arm start to move, then move back to where Steve had put it. Steve smiled and kissed Tony. “Good boy, see, you can do it.” Tony’s response was only to nod. Steve went back to exploring his lover’s chest. He found other scars scattered over the olive skin and Steve wondered how many came from the Ten Rings attack, how many were from workshop accidents and how many came from being Iron Man. He pushed the queries away for now and started on the left nipple. Tony moaned lightly, so Steve tried the right. Apparently it wasn't as sensitive as the left because he didn't make any sound there. Trying a small nip got him a little gasp but still not as big as a reaction as the left. And even that hadn't been much. He moved on down Tony’s body to his happy trail. He ran his fingers through the curly hairs and smirked when Tony shifted as if it tickled. He kept that up for a few minutes drawing random patterns in the hairs as Tony started quivering lightly. 

“I may have to do something drastic if you don't stop that,” Tony groaned. 

“What did you want me to stop doing?”

“Steve, please you're killing me here. You're inches from my sanity and you’re playing with my short and curls?”

Steve chuckled, “I did say I was going to drive all equations from your head.”

“If you move south a few inches, you’ll be a little closer to your goal.”

“And so will you, but my goal comes first.”

“Remind me again why I’m doing this?”

“Is this sex or us?”

“Both,” Tony gasped as Steve finally gave in and drug a finger up Tony’s cock. Tony shivered and started to reach for Steve. He grimaced and put his hand back, he decided to hold his right wrist in his left hand hoping it would remind him to not move it.

“Do you want me to stop?”

“No god, no, fuck Thor, no.”

Steve shook his head. He let the Thor reference go, he figured the middle of sex wasn't a good time to get into a theological debate. 

He did debate with himself if he should taste the cock before him?He had never thought of himself as gay, not even as bi-sexual. But he had already had sex with Tony several times. Oral sex was just another aspect of it. He took a deep breath and leaned down and kissed the head. He paused and tried to decide how he felt. He guessed he was okay, like he had been the first time he’d been with Clint and Tony.

Slowly he took the head into his mouth and swirled his tongue around it. Marianna had done this to him once, he tried to remember what she had done. In the end he gave up and just let what instinct he had take over. It must have been enough because he had to put a hand on Tony’s hip to keep him from moving, more than once he caught Steve of guard and he'd ended up almost choking.

“Steve, oh fuck, Steve. You, oh you've got to to I fuck something. You've got to something.”

He hummed his agreement that he had to something and that was the something because suddenly Tony went ridged and tried to push Steve away. In for penny, in for a pound, Steve held Tony down and let the man come. Worse case he made a quick exit to the bathroom, best case he found something new he enjoyed. The answer was somewhere in-between, it was something that he might be able to learn to enjoy. He certainly enjoyed the look on Tony’s face. He did make a quick trip to the bathroom to rinse his mouth out. It was just a little weird yet.

“You didn't have to,” Tony said when he came out.

“But now I know I don't mind,” Steve kissed Tony’s cheek, but a hand on his cheek guided him to the soft lips. 

“I know I don't mind.”

He felt the hand move to his neck and he felt the pressure to move down so Steve closed the distance and kissed Tony deeply, letting any lingering flavors mingle, but he also reached up and moved the hand back to its place on the bed.

When they broke the kiss to breath, Tony spoke up again, “Let me return the favor?”

“I thought you wanted me to make love to you?”

“I’m not as young as you, I won’t be able to go again for hours. Let me make you feel good and in the morning, you can wake me up and make love to me.”

Steve blushed, it was probably true. Steve knew from his limited experience that he would be hard within a few minutes. Maybe he was going to have to let a little of the denial Tony had asked for that first day out a more. They would have to go with trial and error to see how that part of their sex life would play out. Steve shrugged, but laid down next to his lover. “What did you have in mind?” Tony smiled the impish little smile Steve had seen him use a time or two before retaliating against Barton in their prank wars. He wasn't sure it boded well for him.

Tony still didn't say anything, he smirked all the way to Steve’s cock and suddenly Steve was the one fighting to keep his hands to himself. Whatever Tony had learned over the years was almost more than a novice like Steve could handle. He couldn't even concentrate enough to figure out if that was a tongue or a fingertip that was causing his world to shatter around him. 

In reality it was a mix of both, Tony had had many blowjobs over the years and had catalogued every move. Steve might have succeeded in driving every equation from his mind but every trick of a blowjob was another matter all together. He could feel the muscles under his hands quivering, he could feel the sweat bead under his palms. He could almost feel Steve coming apart under his tongue. He wrapped his hand around Steve’s cock and inched up until he was right at Steve’s ear. Then he played a little dirty pool of his own, “Come for me.” And just like when Steve spoke those words to Tony, Steve didn't have the option of disobeying.

**Author's Note:**

> So this is the only full version of the lullaby I could find without really bad animation, but hey it's a lullaby, what did I expect?
> 
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nI-ktGb-k1w
> 
> The original page I found the song on
> 
> http://www.lullaby-link.com/i-see-the-moon.html
> 
> I wanted a song Steve would have known, but not the standards.


End file.
